I suppose that today is indeed July 1st.
At least here it is, in UTC-500 land.
Oh good ol' U T C minus five hundo land.
I'm in a good mood today. Which isn't particularly odd or out of place for me, but I took the time to mention it and then emphasize it's non-oddity, so keep that in mind.
Please.
Keep that in mind.
What have I been working on? Hot damn (hot damn)
Calvin
What have you been working on?
Oh, things are in the works, children. Some ideas are coming, some things are being planned, epic adventures shall unfold, right here, at Calvin09314.blogspot.thebomb.com
I haven't decided where I'm going to host this new adventure, but host it I shall. HOST IT I SHALL.
Wednesday, July 01, 2015
Tuesday, June 09, 2015
Because It's Important
I have changed my plans. I have not done what I have set out to do. I had a plan for this summer, for these next few months, but my plans have changed now. I'm going to be moving to a different state for 8 weeks. I need to re-evaluate what I can accomplish in this new surrounding and with a new workload.
I'll be teaching a summer camp, it'll take up a lot of my time.
I want to remain anonymous. I am Calvin. That's important to me, and it consumes me at times–thinking about my anonymity... my identity that I don't want anyone to know.
I've left many traces. I've linked this profile to my reddit account. But I stay anonymous there as well.
I'm just trying to remain me. To remain an identity that I wish I could have. Something I'm not. I can document that as well.
I recently went to talk to a Catholic youth minister in my town. I had some questions for her, mainly about social issues. I started off asking about women's role in the church. I expected a short answer, but she got into all the reasons women might be limited in the church in terms of power. She was very thorough in explaining how Jesus did not choose a woman to replace judas and a bunch of other reasons why women can't be priests (which I really didn't ask about). I disagreed with what she said but really didn't care how she justified it, it is all the same to me.
I think I asked about contraceptives next. She answered me well. I disagree with everything she said, but she explained how sex should bring life and contraceptives don't. She said it's okay if women have to use birth control, but that they should explore other options before committing to a contraceptive as the only choice.
I asked about gender some, and about gay rights. She got into some of that on her own, but I prodded a bit here and there.
She didn't say anything dramatic. I didn't openly disagree, I just sort of bounced the other side off of her from a devil's advocate point of view. She didn't explicitly say the other side was stupid or wrong, just that there was a disagreement of morals in all the cases. I asked about politics and she explained how the social issues and political issues collide.
I asked if the youth are not doing as much because of these social stances, and she said no.
It's all bullshit.
I don't know why I went, what I expected to find. I could talk to the priest, she said that could be helpful for me. I don't think so, I mean what would I say.... I'm bisexual and I don't think pre-marital sex is a bad thing? I don't have any idea what the point of that conversation would be. I could argue that the church hurts people with these regressive views about sex, sexuality, and gender, but what's the point? They would just argue that the rest of us have some mental issue that Jesus can cure. Or we can just pray enough to stop being who we are.
Fuck that shit.
That's a bit about my identity I guess. I hate defining myself, but I also am not afraid of who I am.
Why... There is so much to do. I am going to miss this place for 8 weeks because it's important. I'm confused and hurt because it's important. It is important.
I'll be teaching a summer camp, it'll take up a lot of my time.
I want to remain anonymous. I am Calvin. That's important to me, and it consumes me at times–thinking about my anonymity... my identity that I don't want anyone to know.
I've left many traces. I've linked this profile to my reddit account. But I stay anonymous there as well.
I'm just trying to remain me. To remain an identity that I wish I could have. Something I'm not. I can document that as well.
I recently went to talk to a Catholic youth minister in my town. I had some questions for her, mainly about social issues. I started off asking about women's role in the church. I expected a short answer, but she got into all the reasons women might be limited in the church in terms of power. She was very thorough in explaining how Jesus did not choose a woman to replace judas and a bunch of other reasons why women can't be priests (which I really didn't ask about). I disagreed with what she said but really didn't care how she justified it, it is all the same to me.
I think I asked about contraceptives next. She answered me well. I disagree with everything she said, but she explained how sex should bring life and contraceptives don't. She said it's okay if women have to use birth control, but that they should explore other options before committing to a contraceptive as the only choice.
I asked about gender some, and about gay rights. She got into some of that on her own, but I prodded a bit here and there.
She didn't say anything dramatic. I didn't openly disagree, I just sort of bounced the other side off of her from a devil's advocate point of view. She didn't explicitly say the other side was stupid or wrong, just that there was a disagreement of morals in all the cases. I asked about politics and she explained how the social issues and political issues collide.
I asked if the youth are not doing as much because of these social stances, and she said no.
It's all bullshit.
I don't know why I went, what I expected to find. I could talk to the priest, she said that could be helpful for me. I don't think so, I mean what would I say.... I'm bisexual and I don't think pre-marital sex is a bad thing? I don't have any idea what the point of that conversation would be. I could argue that the church hurts people with these regressive views about sex, sexuality, and gender, but what's the point? They would just argue that the rest of us have some mental issue that Jesus can cure. Or we can just pray enough to stop being who we are.
Fuck that shit.
That's a bit about my identity I guess. I hate defining myself, but I also am not afraid of who I am.
Why... There is so much to do. I am going to miss this place for 8 weeks because it's important. I'm confused and hurt because it's important. It is important.
Monday, June 01, 2015
thought thought thought thought thought thoughts everybody
Why have I been doing?
What have I been doing?
all of this is not clear
I’ve been wandering aimlessly
Identity has been on my mind
But why worry about identity? Identity is the mask of substance
What makes up a person is what defines their being, what defines who they are.
I can call myself whatever I want, I can view myself however I want, I can be whoever I want inside my head. Whatever people see is what I am.
Despite my best efforts, people will see me in their own way, informed by their own experiences of people like me. Is that fair? Maybe not. Is it wrong? Definitely not.
My identity concerns me. It worries me that I am unsure of who I am or what I want or where I’m headed or where I’ve come from. I don’t totally understand the trajectory of my life. Nobody does. But I am painfully aware that I do not. Why? Why can I not know? Who stops me? I do.
Why have I been doing what I have been doing/////
What is this blog
What is this one place where I can slowly define who I am.
It is a chance to be anonymous. It is a chance to say “FUCK ALL I HAVE THESE EMOTIONS AND I WANT NOBODY AND EVERYBODY TO SEE THEM”
Fuck you
Fuck you.
I – – - – - –
Fuck you =
I am going to make some cool shit
I will make some cool shit
That is my promise
Cool shit
Shit
June is a month
June is a month to make a long term plan
TO make a plan for the rest of my life
LOL AT THAT HUH M8
What have I been doing?
all of this is not clear
I’ve been wandering aimlessly
Identity has been on my mind
But why worry about identity? Identity is the mask of substance
What makes up a person is what defines their being, what defines who they are.
I can call myself whatever I want, I can view myself however I want, I can be whoever I want inside my head. Whatever people see is what I am.
Despite my best efforts, people will see me in their own way, informed by their own experiences of people like me. Is that fair? Maybe not. Is it wrong? Definitely not.
My identity concerns me. It worries me that I am unsure of who I am or what I want or where I’m headed or where I’ve come from. I don’t totally understand the trajectory of my life. Nobody does. But I am painfully aware that I do not. Why? Why can I not know? Who stops me? I do.
Why have I been doing what I have been doing/////
What is this blog
What is this one place where I can slowly define who I am.
It is a chance to be anonymous. It is a chance to say “FUCK ALL I HAVE THESE EMOTIONS AND I WANT NOBODY AND EVERYBODY TO SEE THEM”
Fuck you
Fuck you.
I – – - – - –
Fuck you =
I am going to make some cool shit
I will make some cool shit
That is my promise
Cool shit
Shit
June is a month
June is a month to make a long term plan
TO make a plan for the rest of my life
LOL AT THAT HUH M8
Saturday, May 16, 2015
ay
pain pain go away
come again some other day
its good to see you
im glad you're here
you unaware f*ck.
why can't you see.
how haven't you seen.
pain pain go away
be yourself some other -!
slay me
let it go
fillet me
i've said it
don't worry don't get up from your seat
pain pain go away
i know you have seen my display
my display of interplay,
of foreplay,
of the day before Sunday
come again some other day
its good to see you
im glad you're here
you unaware f*ck.
why can't you see.
how haven't you seen.
pain pain go away
be yourself some other -!
slay me
let it go
fillet me
i've said it
don't worry don't get up from your seat
pain pain go away
i know you have seen my display
my display of interplay,
of foreplay,
of the day before Sunday
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Monday, May 11, 2015
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Friday, May 08, 2015
i am a Lost warrior
i am a Lost warrior
drifting among the endless sea
eating all that i can see
all of that in front of me
i am a Lost warrior
i am a Forgotten hero
wandering the skies above
looking, searching, chasing
all i seem to find is love
i am a Forgotten hero
i am a Worthy opponent
slippery, writhing in the grass
carefully planning my attack
taunting you like kim's phat mass
i am a Worthy opponent
i am your Right hand
twisting turning
repeating
beating
i am your Right hand
drifting among the endless sea
eating all that i can see
all of that in front of me
i am a Lost warrior
i am a Forgotten hero
wandering the skies above
looking, searching, chasing
all i seem to find is love
i am a Forgotten hero
i am a Worthy opponent
slippery, writhing in the grass
carefully planning my attack
taunting you like kim's phat mass
i am a Worthy opponent
i am your Right hand
twisting turning
repeating
beating
i am your Right hand
Thursday, May 07, 2015
Wednesday, May 06, 2015
Tuesday, May 05, 2015
Monday, May 04, 2015
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